this is so cute and adorable that i simply couldnt resist buying it.
so unlike me right? HAHA.

WHOO~ i had a date with lynette today! it has been more than a year since i last saw her! haha she said i hv less hair now -.- maybe its the stupid dye that caused it. more dates to come! WAHAHA I LOVE DATES! see ya tmr yuntian! =)

9/21/2007 07:06:00 PM ·

Thursday 20 September 2007

Alright, prelims are finally over. But somehow I dont feel exceptionally happy or excited over it. Perhaps its because I didnt put in much efforts. Haha but im quite certain that i had put in the most effort this time out of my entire 2 years in NJ. I was quite shocked about my studies state when I was doing my revision during the September hols. What the hell was I doing in the past one year plus especially last year? Was it mainly band’s fault? I guess I wasnt disciplined and motivated enough last year to mug hard. Okay this year wasnt any better either.

Physics is gone case. I just received paper 3 today. Disappointment. Never expected myself to fail it again despite putting in more than 100% effort for the past few weeks. Maybe I wasnt prepared enough for it yet. But its the last try-out before the A levels and yet I bombed it. Really worried about A levels now. Math was…dashed hopes again. Haha chemistry and economics I dont really feel heartache la, because honestly I didnt put in much efforts this time, too much to catch up. Rahh just like physics, no more chance to try-out again before A levels. Stupid A levels. Just like what Yuntian said, why did we pay so much money for a stupid exam which is like a hell-hole, devoiding us of hope and making us work damn damn hard for an unfair 2 years? It feels like we paid for the sufferings.

Today was supposed to be a happy day, a day worth to celebrate to mark the end of our prelims before starting our second round of revision for A levels. But I didnt enjoy it. Not because the outing was boring or anything, I was just not in the mood to celebrate. We watched ‘No Reservations’ at Cathay instead of our planned ‘Hairspray’ at PS because both movies are only screened at PS at 9pm which is so bloody late. Hmmm I think ‘No Reservations’ was an average movie. One of those cliché movies where you can kind of guess the ending.

Sighhh a tragedy happened 2 days ago. My sec 4 math teacher passed away due to delivery complications. Joycelyn told me that she died because the fluid from her womb flowed into her lungs which caused them to collapse after that. It all happened too suddenly. After I received the message after my math paper yesterday, I really totally gong diao. How can this happen? I think shes only in her early 30s! Then Sing Joo and Shulin asked me if I was going to attend her wake, I replied, “Is the news reliable and true?” I simply cannot believe it! How can she pass away like that? Due to delivery complications somemore, which is relatively rare. I couldnt study for physics at all yesterday although I tried very hard. Good old memories of her kept appearing in my mind. Still remembered her telling us that her daughter loves to colour with highlighters which is much more expensive than coloured pencils. And she was in the welfare committee in charge of buying birthday cakes for teachers on their birthdays. She was very glad that she was in charge of that because she gets to choose the cake that she likes to eat! Math lessons were never boring for us because of her constant supply of jokes and smiles. Life is really unpredictable. In fact I still couldnt believed what happened until I flipped to the orbituaries section today. I could still feel the warmth in her smile in the photo. Her poor children, i think its quite sad to be motherless at such a young age.

‘No Reservations’ also kind of revolved a girl whose mother died in a car accident and her aunt was her only relative. I wonder if my teacher’s eldest child will miss her mother now. I think shes only 4 or 5 years old. Maybe she doesnt even know what death means. Anyway, I thought of this the whole of yesterday, if I were my teacher’s newborn child, would I choose to die or live on? If I were to live on, I would probably be hated by my family members because I caused the death of my mother. It may be an accident, but it was also partly because of me. My sister would probably hate me the most for taking away her mother from her at such a young age. But how about me? I havent even gotten a chance to know who my mother is or experience any motherly love! So I would choose to live on. Afterall, my mother went through 9 months of pregnancy which was not easy. Also, if she died because of me, then im sure she would want me to live on or else her death will not be worth it.

This incident has made us realize the vulnerability of our existence like what Yu Shan said. Anything can just happen to anyone in a split second, we should really treasure the people around us now and cherish our time together.

9/21/2007 06:54:00 PM ·